I went this morning for an ultrasound and bloodwork, and it looks like I'm all set for Tuesday morning. My lining is measuring in at a nice and lush 12, and I have two nice-sized follies ready to be triggered off into maturity.
I'm excited and a little nervous. We've decided that this is the end of the IUI train for us, and that the next step is IVF. We have to get our shit together for that, in terms of insurance and whatever else needs to be done, and I think we'll take a month off in between cycles to prepare. I'm nervous about that step, mostly because of the unknown factor. But the idea of IVF really excites the nerd in me too, because I am dying to get up close and personal with my eggs to see what kind of shape they're in. My ovaries have been a bit sluggish in responding to the meds for these cycles, so I have no idea what kind of dose they'll put me on, but I'm also excited to see what kind of response I'll have.
Sadly, I kind of feel like this last IUI is just sort of biding time for us. A way to do something while we wait (since we're going on vacation soon and couldn't have done an IVF cycle this soon). So I don't have a ton of optimism for this cycle, but I just hate waiting so much that I didn't want to take the month off.
My mind is already looking forward. I'm not really focused on this cycle too much at this point at all. Is that a defense mechanism? Am I just protecting myself? Or am I being optimistic and hopeful for the future?
Sunday, September 6, 2009
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I felt that exact same way about IUI #5 -- the one where we ended up conceiving my son. I felt like I was just giving it one last go to check it off the list, as DH and the RE seemed into it. "Yeah, whatever" was my motto that cycle. The good news is, your attitude won't determine the outcome whatsoever. :) So do whatever you need to do to get through it... and here's hoping for a BFP in two weeks!
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