Sunday, September 27, 2009

Random confessions

Get to know me a bit, see how crazy I really am...

I rarely POAS before my period comes. However, I often do so after I get my period. I've seen and heard too many tales of "I didn't know I was pregnant!," apparently. But seriously, I'll have full on cramping and bleeding, and I'll take a HPT. I always somehow convince myself that it's not quite a normal period: either it started early, or late, or it's heavier or lighter than normal. This is not normal behavior.

I daydream about winning the lottery. I swear that I would be one of those really generous people, paying off friends' mortgages and setting up 529's for my nieces and nephews. However, I only manage to buy a lottery ticket once a month or so.

I'm pretty sure that I like massages better than sex. No wonder I feel like I'm cheating on my husband when I pay for one. (And really, why is prostitution illegal? Everyone should be as happy as I am after I get a massage.) My husband & I trade massages probably four times a week. We have sex ... maybe ... four times a month.

About a month ago, I bought a pair of maternity pants. Well, according to Target, they're maternity pants, but I'm trying to think of them as my "bloated as hell from stimming" IVF pants. Hey, they were only $6.98.

I am ultra-conscious of being ethical and doing the right thing. I would never pretend my kid was younger than he is so I could get a free admission somewhere, I won't pull out my college ID (from the grad courses I took 3 years ago) to get a discount, that kind of thing. However, when I was a kid, I used to steal. Stupid stuff, like candy bars and lip gloss. And I still get the urge to steal things, every once in a while. Out of the blue, I'll think, "meh, I don't want to pay for that, I'll just drop it in my purse and pretend it was a mistake if someone sees me." The urge always surprises me, and I have to kind of shake those thoughts out of my head when it happens, because I know I'd never do it now. I think the guilt over stealing when I was a kid makes me more mindful of making ethical decisions now.

I have dreams that I'm flying. Really often. Sometimes I feel myself drifting off my bed, and then I'm off flying around, usually in places that don't look familiar to me, but always outside. When I wake up, I'm usually fully convinced (for a short time, at least) that I really was off flying somewhere while I slept. I have to remind myself ... or convince myself? ... that it was just a dream. I've always wondered if other people have flying dreams, but I don't think I've ever asked anyone.


  1. LMAO! Too funny! I dream and often plan what I would do with my lottery winnings, although I rarely buy a ticket. My latest desire if I win a really big pot is to set up a fund for IVFers. :) One can only hope!

  2. Ha ha ha! I love this post.

    You are the first person I've heard of who POAS *after* your period comes. Or at least, the first person to admit it. Hilarious!

    I often dream of winning the lottery, too. However, I only buy a ticket maybe once a year. Outlook: not good.

    DH and I used our grad school IDs for years to get discounts on movie tickets. We'd still probably be doing it, if we ever went to the theater. I guess I justify that they are ridiculously overpriced anyway. It's a slippery slope, though, isn't it? :)

    I often dream I'm flying, too! It's weird, though, usually I am STRUGGLING to fly to get away from someone/something. I'm like floating and trying to fly faster and higher but it's not really working. I think I'll leave those subconscious demons alone for now.