Saturday, August 1, 2009

Aaannnd, backfire

First I have to share a confession with you. Are you ready for the crazy? Here goes... I purposely did not have sex around the time I was ovulating this month. Why would I do that, when I'm clearly trying to get pregnant, you ask? Well, because I am sick and fricken tired of my PMS symptoms that mimic early pregnancy symptoms tricking me. Nausea as PMS? What sadistic jackass thought that up? And I believe in my heart that I won't get pregnant from sex alone (um, let's see, I think I'm up to something like 45 cycles of BFNs?), so I didn't want to do that to myself. I wanted to take hope out of the equation completely, and just be able to wait out the cycle in peace.

Yeah, I said it was crazy. You were warned.

Here's where it backfired on me. I have a friend (well, as much as one could be a friend if you've never met in person, at least -- we met online, and we're sort of like pen-pals for the 21st century) who had to use injectibles and IUI to get pregnant with her son. Her son is just about a month older than my kiddo. She had PCOS and I think it was her 3rd or 4th IUI that did the trick. She told me yesterday that she is about 7 weeks pregnant, and she just found out a few days ago. Now how could an infertile find out she's pregnant at 7 weeks?! I will be peeing on multiple sticks the moment I'm 14dpo, if I'm patient enough to wait that long, so I can't imagine how one (again, an infertile!) could get to 7 weeks without knowing. Get this. She had no clue. Her cycles were wonky from her PCOS, and she just thought she was lapsing back into her 45 to 60-day cycles again. So not only was she a "you never know" person, but she was also a "I didn't know I was pregnant!" person. (Ok, only for 3 weeks, but still.)

I have to add here that she was sweet enough to say to me, "you can be mad. And jealous. I know I would be." Seriously, what a great person - I truly am happy for her, despite my *green with envy* side.

And this is why I feel like my genius little plan was a backfire. Why did I skip sex two weekends ago? "You never know" people are all over the damn place. Yeah, I'm probably not going to be one of them (cough-45 cycles of BFNs-cough), but .... well, that's why they call them "you never know" people.



  1. WOW I am so impressed that you didn't do the deed at O time. I really wish I had that strength, so I could truly have a break from the obsessing. But I get O pains every time I'm ovulating, and I always end up ensuring we get a well-timed BD. It's like good chocolate or a shoe sale, I can't pass it up.

    I am happy for your friend. Totally jealous, but happy. It's nice when a stirrup queen doesn't have to suffer for round two.

  2. I had many months like that too. I just got sooo tired of trying. Every single time I got into the 2ww I'd get mad at myself and wished I'd tried. I think I did it purely to regain power over my bad plumbing. Always short lived...

    Sick mind games we play, aren't they?