A (short) waiting game

I decided to take this cycle off. I don't think I've ever taken a break on purpose, for no good (medical) reason. I've always rushed to the next thing, hating to wait or be held up for anything. So I have a good feeling that this decision will come back to bite me later (in terms of my impatience, I mean), but it feels like the right decision for me right now.

I just need a break - mostly physically, but I hope that the month off will be good for my mental health too. Physically I need a month off, because those injectibles were really rough on me. I had no idea it would be like that. I guess I got off easy with the oral meds, because in comparison the injectibles kicked my ass. I felt really nauseous for about two weeks ... it actually felt just like morning sickness, which is a bit of a mean joke, IMO. Lightheaded, headaches, and pain in my ovaries too. The pain in my ovaries and the nausea got really bad the day after the IUI (two days after the trigger) - so bad in fact, that I was walking with a limp, and I had to leave work early. Laying on the couch helped a lot, as did putting on stretchy comfortable pants. The pain and nausea subsided after another day or so, but the bloating remained - none of my pants fit right, and still don't, four days into my new cycle - everything is uncomfortably tight around the waist. The nurse said, "well you did have five follicles, your ovaries are huge right now compared to normal." So I guess it was to be expected? Please let me know if you felt that way, because I'd never heard of anyone having those kinds of side effects.

Yes, if you put that all together, you're right: I'm taking a month off because my pants are tight and I don't want to deal with the side effects right after just putting up with them for the past couple weeks. I am apparently that much of a wuss. Who knew?

Otherwise, I will say that I did really well this cycle. I have high FSH (14 at my highest) and a low antral follicle count (6-8 usually), and I wasn't responding too well to the higher Clomid doses. Well, I produced one follicle each time, but clearly that didn't get the job done. The RE said they hoped for four or five good follicles with the injectibles ... and this month, I made five. Plus my uterine lining was great (10.8 the day of trigger), and my 6dpo progesterone was 31. 31 for chrissakes. I almost cried when the nurse told me that a couple days ago - I'm glad I didn't know the number during my 2ww, because I would have thought for sure it worked with a level like that.

I have a consult with the RE on Friday morning, in which we'll discuss what could have gone wrong, if anything, and what might be tweaked next cycle. I also have a few questions about the follicle sizes (some seemed small to me, but a quick search of Dr. Google said that follicles might be mature at smaller sizes on injectibles), and a couple other things. Like the Ganirelex that I was prescribed, and that I have sitting in my basement, but was never told to use. I will also broach the subject of IVF, and whether he thinks I'm a candidate. I thought I wasn't, based on my FSH, but it seems like I responded well to the meds this time, so who knows.

Until then, as Rachel from "Signing Time" says, I'll just "wiggle my fingers, like I'm waiting, waiting, waiting."