Monday, January 4, 2010

First stop, write the dang goal

My husband and I were talking about the past year, and wondering what 2010 would bring. He said that he's already broken his new year's resolution for this year (being more decisive - hahah! Who knew he was struggling with the same thing I am?), and then asked me what my resolution was. I told him I wasn't messing around with a silly resolution this year; they're too easy to break and even forget. I told him I was writing a goal. His response? "So, then, your resolution is to write a goal?" I had to laugh out loud. Clearly I married him for his looks and his ability to crack me up.

So what is my goal going to address? I'm not really living my life as fully as I'd like. I'm too focused on what I don't have, and what might be missing, to completely enjoy and cherish what is great right now. I'm not trying to imply that I'm all together miserable or anything - I know that I'm not. But I also know that I'm much more focused than I'd like to be on the negative, and the unknown, things that are going on with me. The truth is, we are lucky. Yes, lucky as hell. We have food (and often too much of it), we have our health, we have a house in a great neighborhood, decent jobs, and a great family. We have our kiddo. Our little lightbulb. I don't want to look back and wonder what I missed because I was too busy worrying about or working towards an uncertain future. I have too many certainties in my future for that!

I was running late to work today. As usual. Except my boss, my boss's boss, and even her boss, were all in town for a meeting, and I desperately wanted to be early. So all morning I was rushing my kiddo, telling him to be a good listening boy for me, and running around the house trying to get us ready and out the door. We forgot his Nicky bunny (a tragedy, I tell you, leaving Nicky bunny at home), so I had to run back in the house to get it, with my car idling and my kiddo sitting happily in his carseat. My heart was pounding, thinking that I was going to look terrible showing up late to this meeting. I was ushering him into the daycare lobby, when I looked down and saw that he was walking like a duck, his back to me, waddling down the hallway toward his classroom. He didn't turn back around to me, just said - quietly, mind you, because he was focused intently on doing it right - he said, "mommy, look, I'm fancy-walking!"

Fancing walking. The kid cracks me up, all the time. All I have to do is pay attention, or else I'll miss it. And I don't want to look back in a year or twenty years, and wonder what I might have missed when he was two or three.

Those are the thoughts behind my new year's goal.


  1. Good for you. It's so hard not to focus so much on this all-consuming goal and remember to enjoy what we have. I think I'll try my fancy walk tomorrow!

  2. LOVE your goal, I need to work on mine too but it is along the same lines. It's amazing just how much we can miss in a given day if we don't try to focus on the good and the blessings, it's so easy to overlook them! Happy New Year!!!

  3. Living more mindfully and appreciating the beauty in life TODAY -- a wonderful goal. The world would be a much happier place if more people would do this!